Best Teacher EVER!

Throughout all of Lochies time at school, he had only one very special teacher who put in huge efforts to understand, help and support him.

In Grade 3, Lochie was pretty excited to have a male teacher.  Mr Daniels was a fairly young teacher.  Full of enthusiasm, energy and ready for a full on year.  He arranged meetings with all the parents at the begining of the year to have a little bit of insight into all his students.  The meeting with me was a little longer because he had read Lochies file and knew about his problems.

Mr Daniels spent a lot of time engaging with Lochie and building up his confidence by highlighting things he was good at. If the class was doing sports, he would often use Lochie to demonstrate a skill, or explain a rule.  In the classroom, he would never ask Lochie to read out loud or do the times tables competitions because he knew Lochie just couldn't do it and would feel bad.  Mr Daniels understood that Lochie was always willing to try, but didn't push him if Lochie wasn't comfortable to do so.

It is rare to find a teacher with this much insight into their students.  In my experience anyway.  Mr Daniels encouraged Lochie to try things and would stay back with him after class, to hear him try to read out aloud rather than making him do it in front of his class, only to be laughed at.

One of the main things Lochie says that frustrated him in school was that teachers always said that he wasn't trying.  How frustrating would that be?  Trying so hard that your brain hurts and then getting told that you weren't?  What does that do to a young persons self esteem?

It was grade three when Lochie was going through a lot of testing and he also got the coloured glasses.  Mr Daniels printed all Lochie's worksheets on coloured paper because Lochie often "forgot" to wear the glasses because classmates always asked him why they were blue.

There was little point with Lochie attempting to read off the board and Mr Daniels understood that.  Rather than sitting him in front of the board as a constant reminder of the things he couldn't understand, Lochie sat with his back to the board, facing Mr Daniels.  This helped Mr Daniels keep a close eye on when Lochie was getting frustrated and offer help straight away.

As I just re-read what I have already written, it comes across as if Lochie was a favourite.  I dont believe this was the case.  Every kid in that class blossomed that year and it was due to the efforts of a teacher with energy and a passion to bring out the best of everyone.

I have teachers as friends, and they say, "we have 25 students in class, there is no time to focus on one who is having problems?"
I disagree with that.  If teachers put in effort at the begining of the year to really engage and get to know students, it isn't a huge effort to keep track of each one individually.

Lochie and I would like to find Toby Daniels.  He was teaching at Beaconsfield Primary School but only for a few years.  He then went overseas to China to teach English.
If anyone can track him down please pass this blog on.  I really hope he gets to know how much difference the year with him made to Lochie.

Thank you!!

Fishing for self esteem

As you have read from past posts, Lochie's self esteem suffered badly due to his dyslexia.  One thing that I always tried to focus on was, find something he was good at and encourage that to the fullest.
Something quite often associated with dyslexia is a midline issue.  For example, Lochie is

ambidextrous.  This has made him an outstanding sports person.  Playing footy, he was always one of the higher skilled kids, despite his small stature.  His self motivation and determination is extreme to say the least. 

Another thing that we tried with him was fishing. 

Unusual for little kids, Lochie's favourite shows were never cartoons or Sesame Street.  He loved programs about the outdoors, animals or travel. Especially shows about fishing and camping.  He learned a lot from these shows, and taught us all many things we didn't know.

Years ago, we lived in the same street as a local celebrity, PaulWorsteling, has created a fishing show called IFish   Lochie was pretty inspired by this so we bought him a rod and he watched show after show and of we went.  His ability to learn was demonstrated pretty clearly.  Anyone thinking that dyslexia is an issue of intelligence is seriously mistaken.  

The more we fished, the better he got.  He knew all the tips and tricks.  

Lochie left school when he was 14.  He couldn't handle it any more.  School can be a cruel place when you are dyslexic and faced with many people (mainly teachers)  who lack understanding of the issue.  

He worked from the day he left school and saved up until he could buy a boat.   

Such a sense of achievement.  At 16, he had actually bought a great boat.  Lochie got 100% on his boat licence test.  The only test he had ever got such a high score for.   

Loc says that some of his happiest times are out on the bay in his little boat just pottering around, dropping in a line.   He knows that having the boat and being a good fisherman is something to be proud of.  Far away from the struggles he faces in everyday life. I love this photo.  To me it shows Lochie at his happiest and proudest. 

The aim of my blog and book is to raise awareness about dyslexia.  If you have a kid struggling with a learning problem, find something they are good at.  If they aren't sporty, look at fishing or something like that.  Without fishing and football, Lochie would have even less self esteem than he has now.   

Lochie's next goal is to save up to go on one of those big fishing tours and learn how to catch the BIG ONES!!   Whoo hoo.  I"m sure he will get there.  

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A Mothers Pain

From the time Lochie was born, he and I had a special bond.  Lochie was attached to me for the first 12 months of his life.  He had severe colic and just couldnt be put down.   He used to twirl his hands through my hair....actually, he still does.  He never had a security blanket or dummy.  Just me. 

When I first realised he had a problem with reading, I literally did everything I could to help him.  I went from test to test and really got no help.  I will give you a bigger run down on the tests in a later blog. 

As a parent, I was told that if only I had made him spend time on the floor with mobiles hanging over him, or made him crawl, his nerves in his brain would have developed and he would not have reading problems. 

After being blamed for that, I was told that if I hadn't taken him to babyshows then he would have had less issues with self esteem and would have responded better when offered help. 

I was also told by a psychologist that if I hadn't pushed him into footy (which I didn't, he loved the sport and was/is still brilliant at it) he would have spent more time wanting to read. 

My heart breaks when I see him struggle and it always will.  At night, he used to run into my room several times to get me to remind him about things for the next day.  He used to tell me that he would lay in bed and watch the day replayed in his head feeling every emotion.  Happiness, sadness, anxiety etc.  After the day had played out, he would then think about the next day identifying any problem that may come up.  No wonder the kid never slept.  Again, something I was blamed by the teachers for. 

To every parent going through what I go through having a dyslexic child, I will dedicate my book.  Please pass on your stories to me and I will include them in the book. 

Lets work together to help people understand dyslexia and give support to the people who are sufferers. 

The gift of dyslexia

One gifts Lochie has is his amazing spacial ability. 
It's so handy when we are moving furniture, building shelves, buying outdoor settings etc. 
Today it came in really handy.  He was shopping at a newly opened store and there was a guess the lollies in the jar competition.  I looked and thought about 120.  Lochie said, "nah, there would be about 207".

I looked at the other guesses.  Nobody had guessed anything like that.  Silly me for doubting. 
He won the competition, and the huge jar of lollies, only missing the total by two. 

The gift of dyslexia.

lack of understanding in the workplace

So Lochies’ bad week continued. 

He had an evaluation at work.  As a hard working young man, he prides himself on his workmanship and puts efforts into keeping the workplace clean.  Seriously, this guy is the ideal apprentice.

His evaluation was good, but he got  marked down badly for literacy.  What does that mean for a cabinet maker?  He has made some spelling errors on worksheets.  They weren’t so bad that you couldn’t decipher what he meant but his boss said it wasn’t acceptable. 

 

Lochie said, “I think that’s a bit unfair because you know I’ve got dyslexia and reading is really hard.  I do try my best”.

“Not good enough”, said his Boss.  “Why don’t you go do a short course on how to read?”

 

Poor Lochie!!  How could anyone be so stupid to think that a short course could help.  It just shows again, the problem dyslexics have when dealing with people who have no idea

It never ends.....

Currently on a three day getaway in Adelaide.  Only 8 hours drive from home and not doing anything in particular.  Lochie couldn’t get time off work so he couldn’t come.  Mind you, he is 19, fully licenced and fully capable of caring for himself. 

5am the phone rings. 

“Hey Mum”, Loc says.

“Hey Loc, what’s up?”

“My car has dead battery, do you know where the jumper leads are?” 

“No, why don’t you just get the train?”

“Ok,” he says.  “I think it’s a pretty shit day already”.

“Loc the day will be what you make it.  Love you.”

So off he went to the station.  Five minutes later he rang really distressed.  The government has changed the ticketing system and he couldn’t buy his normal ticket.  There were notices up everywhere explaining the new system but of course, if you are dyslexic and running late for work, that isn’t going to work out so well for you.

As a dyslexic man now, not a child, he is embarrassed to ask for help.   Everyday commuters know the system and he didn’t want to look stupid.  As someone who doesn’t travel by train more than once every few years, I was little help to him. 

Yet again, when I think he is travelling along ok in life, another speed bump in the form of dyslexia smacks him for six again.  He has been unable to get to work, he is upset and distressed at his lack of ability to be independent and also worried that his boss will probably yell at him.  Me, his mum and main support, is sitting here at 6am typing up a blog, over 8 hours away. 

I hate that a gorgeous kid like Loc has such a disability.  One which is so hidden and misunderstood.  He has so much to offer the world but it is always such a battle for him.  

Too many things I can't do...

Last week, Lochies' brother, Trent, graduated from the Police Academy.  He is loving his job and had enjoyed every minute of the training.
Lochie mentioned that he is now thinking that perhaps he might apply as well.  He doesn't like the environment of the Cabinet Making industry and is over putting up with being called an idiot and retard. 
My stomach twisted when I thought about all the reading and studying of Laws that I know Trent had just done.  How could Lochie cope with that considering his learning difficulties?

I showed him some of the books Trent had to read and also copies of his exams.
Lochie said, "But if I'm really fit and good at remembering, why can't I be a Police Officer too?"

Hard to answer because the reason is probably only that the spelling test to get in to the academy challenges most people, let alone someone who sees the words different everytime they look at them.

AFter a lot of talking, I have encouraged him to try but I don't think he will now.  He has no confidence now he looked at the paperwork on the application form alone. 

"Why are there so many things I can't do?  It's not fair." 

With the Paralympics on in the background we had discussions on how the only thing holding you back is usually you. 

"But," said Loc, "The fact is, that job requires lots of reading and writing and I probably won't be able to do it.  Just like these paralympians.  They can do amazing things, but sometimes not even the most basic things they really want to do". 

"Loc, sometimes we need to focus on the positive things we can do and not the things we can't do". 


these conversations go on continually with Loc and I guess they always will.  I've got a son with dreams of high achievement and abilities to match, but not always the abilities needed. 

On the plus side, he brought home an amazing piece of furniture he made by hand at TAFE.  When the last 12 months of his apprenticeship passes soon, I guess there will be more conversations.....

Please keep positive Loc!!   You are amazing...

Will my kids be dyslexic?

Lochie has a gorgeous girlfriend.  They have been together since they were 12 and 13.  At 18 and 19, they are now talking long term. 
Lochie's girlfriend, Rebecca, is currently at university studying speech pathology. They are the cutest little couple. 
Lochie came to me quite seriously and asked for a chat. 
"So Mum, Bec wants to have kids one day...", he said.
"Yes, thats pretty much a normal thing", I replied.
"What if my kid is retarded like me?" he asked.

As much as Lochie spends most of his days floating around, working, chatting, smiling, the impact of his dyslexia must still weigh heavily.
We spoke for a while about how dyslexic doesnt make him retarded, his brain just works differently. 

At the end of our discussion, he said "Mum, I understand what you are saying, but, I never want to have kids if they have to go through what I have to". 

I wish that dyslexia was better understood by society.  I wish that Lochie didnt have to be put through being called retarded, especially in the workplace. 

Working boy

Skipping a bit now, but Lochie came home from work with a story that I just had to share.  Loc is working as an apprentice cabinet maker.  He is meticulous and has amazing work ethic.  His natural ability to talk to people gives him an edge over othe people he is working with and customers adore him.
Loc was working with one of the tradesmen putting in a bathroom cabinet.  Lochie was doing the measurements and reading them out.
"Ok, its 1100 cm, oh no its not, sorry it's 1010", Lochie corrected himself.
"What are you? Dyslexic or something?", demanded the tradesman.
"Well yeah actually, I am", replied Lochie.
"Well don't  be proud of it", shouted the tradesman. 
He continued on often calling Lochie stupid and retarded due to his reading issues.  Lochie doesnt make errors with his reading, but he does take the time to double and triple check.
The continued insults caused Lochie to feel upset about going to work so he brought it up with the boss. 
"well, we didn't know you were retarded", was his only response.

Unfortunately there is limited understanding of dyslexia and there will always be stupid people.  Lochie has just developed resilience to it but it still hurts.

A dyslexic maths class

Lochie had never really had any problems with math.  He sometimes said that he could see the answer, but, because he couldnt show the working out or process, he often failed regardless of having the correct answer.
His math teacher at high school was possibly oblivious to Lochie's problem with reading as he always managed ok in this class.  At least up til half way through year 8.
The regular maths teacher was absent and relieving teacher was a young guy in his early twenties.  The teacher was trying to be mates with the kids and goofing around a bit.
He handed out a worksheet with lots of wordy written maths problems.  The kind that say "if a train was travelling at 80kmp and left the station at 9pm blah blah". 
Lochie looked at the worksheet.  The words were all melting into each other. 
"Excuse me", he said.  "I can't do this kind of problem.  I can't read it".
"Come on Lochie, I can tell you are smart, just do it", replied the teacher.
"I can't.  I can't read the question", Lochie continued.
"Listen, do the maths sheet or go sit outside", said the teacher getting flustered.
"I would rather die than have to do this worksheet", said Lochie.
"Fine," said the exasperated teacher.  "Go lie on the road then, that should fix it".

Lochie got up and ran from the classroom.  Berwick High School was a large school and over 36 buses were due to arrive as well as about 400 cars to pick up students as the end of the day was nearing.

The teacher chased him out only to find him lying on the road out the front of the school in tears. 

He pulled Lochie off the road.  Lochie was hysterical.  He kept repeating that he wanted to die.  He wasn't as clever as other kids.  He couldnt do things and felt he was retarded. 

The school phoned and said that Lochie had been involved in a behavioural incident.  I sighed and left work early to go pick him up.

When the situation was explained to me I was furious.  The school made it seem that the teacher was severely traumatised by Lochie's actions. 

I took Lochie home and left him for a while to calm down. 
We had a chat that night.  Lochie explained to me that he often felt like dying.  He said that the last time he was in English and the teacher made him read out loud and the other kids laughed, he wanted to stand in front of a V-line (country) train and make it all end.  The only thing that stopped him was knowing he had football that night. 

At that point I decided that school was not the right place for Lochie. 

Many people thought I was crazy, but as a mother, to hear that a son was so depressed he wanted to die, well, you just take away the problem. 

I stand by my decision.  The option was to take Lochie to a community school.  As a youth worker, I knew that there were many kids in those schools with drug issues and the last place for a depressed kid was a community school with access to drugs. 

Leaving school at 14 began a new chapter for Lochie.